'Final Destination Bloodlines' is Delightfully Sick
Just when I thought I saw the comedy of the year two days ago, I found a movie that's even funnier. Well, that's not entirely true. Friendship is more of a depressing character piece about mental illness. Final Destination Bloodlines, though, is not a nuanced movie. In fairness, there's some character development with the main family that does provide a bit of distinction within a B-grade horror movie made on an A-grade budget. When you get to the opening sequence you'll be sucked in by its uprorious camp value.
Final Destination has never been known for its plot, at least that I'm aware of. I haven't seen a Final Destination movie in its entirety since Final Destination 2. And I only remember the log truck segment. Same with Final Destination 3, where the only part I watched in that film was the opening roller coaster sequence. Aside from that, I tuned out. Never really caring about the franchise, as I would just mark time for the kills. Not stick around for the story. This one's story is a little more interesting as it's a family drama where the family is Death's target.
Stefani Reyes (Kaitlyn Santa Juana) visits her Uncle Howard (Alex Zahara) and Aunt Brenda (April Telek), along with her cousins Erik (Richard Harmon), Bobby (Owen Patrick Joyner), and Julia Campbell (Anna Lore). Tagging along with her is her brother, Charlie (Teo Briones). Stefani is haunted by terrible dreams where she has flashbacks of a 1962 dinner date where Paul (Max Lloyd-Jones) proposes to Iris (Brec Bassinger) atop a skydeck restaurant. Here is where the movie shines.
A little brat who's dropping pennies on the glass creates a chain reaction where the chandelier's shard breaks off, causing the glass to break. A leaking gas heater blows the building's pillar that's holding the skydeck to collapse, sending everyone in that restaurant plummeting to their death. It's a very gratifying sequence where there's no shortage of blood and guts. A shot that made me laugh like a ten-year-old girl was when all the destruction is happening, we get a bullet time shot of the coin launching across the screen so that it can trigger the next calamity. It's so incredibly stupid. More importantly, it's upping the ante so the film can bask in its Looney Tunes antics.
When Stefeni awakens from the dream, she screams in terror. However, night terrors are a real psychological condition. Writers Guy Busick and Lori Evans Taylor know this is a silly movie, so they don't have to take the disease that seriously. Whenever Stefeni tells her family about her nightmares, they pretty much just blow her off, which is kind of funny, as someone in Stefeni's situation would probably not be treated that way unless her family is neglectful. What makes the movie better than most mindless gore fests is its family connection. It's written with the subtlety of a children's film, but it gets the job done.
The film delves into family secrets and reveals revelations that can make or break them. As long as everyone sticks together, they're going to be okay—or so you would hope. Stefeni says in the movie, "You don't f**k with Death's plans." Or something like that. She's not lying. Nobody is safe in this movie. That point is made very clear in the beginning when those it would deem too sick to kill are massacred for laughs.
There's a cynical sense of humor in this movie that's delightful. When the skydeck restaurant collapses, every rich deplorable fights over each other instead of helping one another to survive. We want to see them die because it's vindication against the millionares and billionares who screw the middle and poor working class. Ironically, the filmmakers probably made millions from making this film. With an engaging story about a family unit coming to terms with their past and plenty of kills not worth spoiling, Final Destination Bloodlines is surprisingly good, with a hair more food for thought than your typical bloodfest.
